No Grass No Scream

Chris went to his annual Catholic Men's Retreat this past weekend. He was gone for four LONG days. I'm so happy he got to attend, and I know how much he gets out of it, but boy oh boy....did I miss him! I was aware that he does a lot for me, but I didn't realize just how much until he wasn't here. He just always knows exactly what to do when I need him to do it! He can tell in my tone of voice when I need him to come to the rescue with Colby, when I need an extra hand at dinner time, and he knows when I just can't fold another load of clothes and still remain sane....so he gets to folding! Most of all he knows exactly when I need a hug, kiss, and a "I love you, baby" that reminds me my life is oh so good, no matter how hectic my home is at the moment! I will never take him for granted because I know I could never do it without him!

You remember from 2 of my previous blogs that we are working out our approach to disciplining so that it's pleasing to our Savior and makes us confident as parents. We tried spanking for about 2 weeks until we were completely convicted of our choice. We decided spanking was against our parenting beliefs and we terminated spankings in the Jones household, but Chris still had a heavy heart about the spankings he had already given Colby.

Okay...this is one reason why I love this man so much...he has the biggest heart, that melts mine! These so called spankings were one little swat on the booty that followed with, "Colby, daddy doesn't like doing that so please do what daddy ask you to do, okay? I love you so much! Give me a hug and a kiss, and don't make daddy do that anymore".

Why do parents always refer to themselves in the third person? Anyway...he had some one-on-one time with the priest at the retreat and was hoping to get some enlightenment on the issue. Chris said when he told him that we spanked our 2 year old, he made an expression that said, "you child abuser". I'm sure he didn't mean to and I'm sure a little bit of it was in Chris's head. But he must of thought.....well if they spanked their two year old then they must be uneducated, hillbillies because his next comment was...

Well, have you heard of the new parenting technique....TIME-OUT?

ummmm...no, never heard of it. Seriously, that just cracks me up......as if we wouldn't try that first. He was well intentioned and he really did help Chris feel confident in his decision to never spank our children.

I'm sure hearing two-years old did sound disturbing to him. I think sometimes we forget that Colby just turned two and we expect way to much. He is smart and very verbal so he just seems older...... we need to have realistic expectations. We think...he is potty trained, he remembers everything we teach him, he tells us exactly what he wants and how he wants it so we assume he should be able to follow directions but when I look at another child his age I don't expect the same.....not sure why? I know it sounds crazy!

Even his misbehaviors are usually things that older children would do. I kept 2 year olds for 2 years and they just seemed like babies...Colby doesn't seem like a baby at all! My point of all that being said is, the priest probably had a different image of a 2 year old.

He made a good point though. If Colby wasn't always getting certain concepts from time-out then why did we expect him to understand why we ( the parents who love him unconditionally) were hitting him.

He has hit Chase twice and how could we very well say, "no Colby, we don't hit" when we were......it's too confusing. I feel great when I can say,

"Colby, we never hit anyone,

do mommy and daddy do that, No

it isn't nice and it isn't pleasing to God to hurt others!

He wasn't hitting Chase because he was mad at Chase he was hitting Chase because he was mad at me. Both times that Colby hit Chase was when I was nursing. I'm sure he is very confused why Chase gets this extra, cuddly, undivided attention and he doesn't like it. I now make it a point to get him occupied with something else before I even start and it's working. I also am making a huge effort to give him all the attention he needs. When Chase is asleep I play with Colby the entire time...no more cleaning during that time because he was acting out to get my attention.

I've mentioned him doing defiant things since Chase arrived, such as dumping buckets of water out of the bathtub while we are saying, "don't you dare dump that water out." Yesterday he was taking a bath and I had to walk out of the room, get Chase, and bring him back in the bathroom to nurse. Colby immediately started dumping water on the floor. By the time I put Chase down and could stop him my bathroom was flooded!

I've been praying for understanding and God has been revealing certain things. I realized his bath time was always special for us. We always played games and he loved it!

Of course...

Now I get it...

He doesn't understand why bath time hasn't been the same so he reacts in a way that he knows will get my attention...

negative attention is better than no attention. (That makes me want to cry)

So I took all his toys out and told him that for a few days he won't get to play in the bathtub since he flooded the bathroom. I feel so much better about making rational punishments instead of showing anger and spanking. I also took a bath with him last night to give him some special time while Chris got chase ready for bed.

We also came up with a way to manage the screaming that usually escalated into a tantrum. Our new house rule is

NO GRASS, NO SCREAM

He has learned that he needs to be on grass to scream.....no screaming inside. If he starts to scream, I remind him "no grass, no scream" and by the time he goes outside he has calmed down or either started laughing!

Hey....you gotta get in the mind of a 2 year old and do whatever works!!!

He might be strong-willed but he is also the sweetest thing in the world and he has my heart wrapped around his little finger! I know that God will use that strong-will to do great things one day but for now it's to teach us patience and understanding!!

Hide-And-Seek

Chris has very fond memories of playing hide-and-seek with his family. Chris, Cory (his brother) and his parents would turn off all the lights and use flashlights to play.....sounds fun huh?

Every time the family gets together and starts reminiscing about old times, hide-and-seek memories are always reenacted. One time Cory was scared to turn his flashlight off so he laid on the couch with the flashlight shining on his face.....I bet they didn't find him quick. The family stood over him and confusingly asked, " what are you doing?" "I'm hiding", responded Cory. Hearing this story cracks me up every time and seeing them mock Cory's facial expression, tone of voice, and body language is just beyond hilarious!

Well...Colby and Cory have a lot in common when it comes to concealing themselves while playing hide-and-seek. Colby gets so overwhelmed with the anticipation of being found that he just screams out and tells you exactly where he is.....it's soooo funny! We have tried to explain the game but for now he plays to the beat of his own drum!!

I looked up the definition.....

Hide-and-seek or hide-and-go-seek is a variant of the game tag, in which a number of players CONCEAL themselves in the environment, to be found by one or more "seekers". Wikipedia

Did you know conceal means to scream out to the seeker and blow your cover?

Well now you do!!

My camera went dead so I didn't get the funniest part when he was yelling, "bathtub daddy bathtub"....I will have to try and get it again.

Boys In My House

Boys in my House

There are boys in my house – and Spiderman shoes
And 200 papers in various blues.
There's Bob (he's a builder) and Thomas the Train,
There's a fireman coat to wear in the rain.
They have cars on their shirts and frogs on their hats
There's a glove and a ball and a red plastic bat.
There's dirt on a face and a smudge on a nose;
Grass stains on knees and sand between toes.
There's bath time at night with bodies to scrub,
And when we're all done there is dirt in the tub!
There's bandaids and bruises and curious bumps,
There's smiles and laughter and sometimes there's grumps.
There's odors most icky; there's boogers so green
There's more yucky things than I'll ever get clean.
There's piles of laundry; there's stories at night;
There's bedtime and bath time and dinnertime fights.
There's cars and there's trains and there's books about trucks
There's Scoop, Lofty, Dizzy, and Travis, and Muck.
Sometimes there are bugs, and sometimes there are frogs;
Sometimes they are lions, or dinos, or dogs.
There are cute little vests and darling neckties
Dragged right through the mud – oh what a surprise!
There's running and climbing and jumping and falling
And laughing and crying and hugging and brawling
And rolling and losing and finding and creeping
And whining and stealing and sometimes there's sleeping.
There's tantrums and time outs and extra loud noise –
There's love in my house shaped like two little boys.




Chase, look this is a fire truck!

Wow...where are you going Chase?

that's better....pay attention this time!

Colby reading and teaching Chase animal signs.......I love it!

BIG BOY BED

We finally converted Colby's baby bed to a Big Boy Bed! Colby helped daddy with the process...he is such a big helper!

Colby said, "sleep mommy, cover up in PiPi's bed." Pipi is how he pronounces his name. He can't pronounce the C sound but he usually substitutes it with the letter T so I'm not sure why he replaces the C with a P in his name......it's pretty funny!

He had to introduce his sleep buddies to the new bed........Ike, snowman, football, and of course Binky.

Get on up there guys! How do you like it?

Is it comfy? Who is sleeping where?

Okay....everyone under the cover.

Night Night
That was just a practice run.

When bedtime came we said our prayers....

had story time....

kiss kiss

I'm a BIG BOY!!!!!!

He did shockingly great! I was so worried it would be an ordeal, but he adjusted perfectly! He got up 3 or 4 times, I put him back in the bed, he wanted lots of kisses, and then he finally went to sleep. He wakes up and immediately sprints to our room to wake us up. I love seeing his little face by my bedside saying, "mommy up, light on!"

Colby's first night in his BIG BOY BED.

Chris was filming the monitor

I kinda bribed Colby by telling him if he slept in his BBB then Kate would come play the next morning......I guess he really likes Kate!!!!

Jenn Tied The Knot

My best friend, Jennifer, tied the knot this past weekend. We have been through so much together.......good times, hard times, hilarious times, and just plain crazy, out of our mind times!!! We were always an ear for one another and a shoulder to cry on and we always understood each other!

We partied it up in Panama Beach for Spring Break, chased down Tim McGraw, sang like rock stars on the 100 road trips to Delta State to visit Chris, drove to Louisiana on our way to Destin FL before we realized we were going the wrong way, flew to Texas for Chris's boot camp graduation.......our flight was delayed so Jenn had a few drinks (Jenn never drank so a few was too many) and she started singing "everybody on the plane gettin tipsy!" Needless to say the guy sitting with us was pretty entertained. She also dated my brother-n-law for years and I assumed would be my sister-n-law one day so I was pretty bummed when that didn't work out as I planned. Everything happens for a reason and she is with the one that is PERFECT for her!

I'm so excited she found happiness!!
Congrats Jenn & Chris, I love you both!


I tried to give Chase a bottle for the first time so he could stay home with Chris but he wasn't having it. He had to stay with me all day during pictures. Right before this picture I was nursing him in the car and I had to jump out, get someone to come zip me up, pass Chase off, smile for the pic, grab Chase back, return to the car, undress, and finish feeding him.....whew, it made for a long day. I kept having to interrupt his feedings so he was all off schedule and kept wanting to eat every 1.5-2 hrs. The wedding was at 6:00 and my family got there at 5:30 and relieved me, but what do you know, he wanted to eat 5 mins before the wedding was to start. I quickly started nursing him in the brides room and was hoping he could get a quick snack to hold him over until after the wedding. So, my dress is down to my waist and Chase is going to town when Jenn throws open the door (that leads to the packed out foyer) and gives several guest an eye full! I screamed, she screamed, and slammed the door shut and I found myself squatting down in the corner like I was in time-out or something. Oh my.....whatcha gonna do?

Thank goodness for my wonderful friend Crystal who helped me with Chase all day!

Jennifer and Chris live in California but they are here until Sunday so I made dinner for the newlyweds last night and it was a blast....literally. I cooked a pasta bake and when it was done I placed it on top of the stove. I didn't realize the eye was on which was burning the bottom of the casserole. I kept tasting it and wondering why it was getting dry. I added some milk and cheese and announced that it was ready. At the exact moment that Jenn scooped up a spoonful, there was an explosion! The heat from the eye was to blame...well really I was to blame but you know what I mean. We all screamed like little girls and stood there in shock as we looked at the shattered glass that covered every inch of my kitchen....

only me

and just when I thought I was getting better at this cooking thing.....

it could happen to anyone, right?

It was definitely a blond moment that I'm sure Chris won't let me live down for a very long time!

No Spanking!

No spanking and new alternative methods have returned our household back to a peaceful haven!!! You remember in my last blog that Chris and I had a revelation and made changes concerning the discipline of our defiant toddler. I also mentioned this wonderful book that contributed to the changes we are undergoing.

We have found better options than spanking and methods that are much more effective. Spanking made Colby more defiant, angry, aggressive, and unpleasant. I could tell it was changing his whole persona and he only had maybe 10 spankings before we realized it wasn't working for us.

Chapter 12 is all about spanking and it told a story that really changed my way of thinking and ensured me that this would hit home for us if we continued down the same path.

A mother who believed in spanking observed her three- year old daughter hitting her one-year old son. When confronted, her daughter said, "I'm just playing mommy." She never spanked another child.

Children love to imitate, especially people whom they love and respect. I would never want to be the culprit of Colby hitting Chase. I realized we are teaching our children to hit. I hear parents say we aren't hitting, we are spanking. What's the difference? When an adult strikes another adult we call it hitting; when a child strikes another child we call it hitting; but when an adult strikes a child, parents soften the description to "spanking".

Other facts from this chapter that had an impact on my decision to never spank again.

• Children from spanking families are more likely to use aggression to handle conflicts when they become adults.
• Spanking demonstrates that it's all right for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people. Children learn that when you have a problem you solve it with a swat. This mode of interaction will carry onto their siblings, peers, and eventually spouses and offspring.
• Hitting devalues a child. For a child to act right, he has to feel right. The child's self-image begins with how his parents perceive him and spanking gives a confusing message. A child breaks a glass, you spank or scream at him and he feels "I must be bad" because to a child your always right. The child also feels the the glass he broke must be more valuable than he is.
• Spanking makes a child's behavior worse, not better. The basis for promoting desirable behavior: The child who feels right acts right. Spanking undermines this principle. A child who is hit feels wrong and it shows in his behavior.
• When spanking is repeated over and over, one message is driven home to the child, "You are weak and defenseless."
• Corporal punishment puts distance between the spanker and spankee, the child loses respect for the parent, and the child is not being taught to develop an inner control- they only behave out of fear.
• It's hard to feel loved by the hand that hits them. The parent-child relationship suffers.
• Don't use the bible as an excuse.

"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24)

Shepherds don't use the rod to beat their sheep--and children are certainly more valuable than sheep.

The Shepherd's rod was traditionally used to fight off prey and the staff was gently used to guide sheep in the right path, as in the phrase "your rod and your staff they comfort me." psalm 23:4

• When punishment humiliates children they either rebel or withdraw.
• While spanking may appear to make the child afraid to repeat the misbehavior, it's because they fear the spanker and they are seething with anger.
• They feel violated and they detach themselves from the world that they perceive has been hurtful to them and they find it difficult to trust.
• Unpleasant memories of spankings can block out positive memories
• Children raised in homes with a lot of corporal punishment turn out more antisocial and egocentric.
• Studies have shown that spanking seems to have the most negative long-term effects. Many studies show the futility of spanking disciplinary technique, but none show its usefulness.

If sharing this information prevents only one person from spanking their child then I will be satisfied and consider it to be a huge blessing!!!

Soon I will be posting techniques we are using and how successful each one has been!

Love is not Irritable (even dealing with a toddler)

I have to admit life with Colby has been somewhat difficult in the past few weeks. He has been defiant in many ways

screaming "no" at the top of his lungs (It's quite irritating).

acting out deliberately such as:


Me: Colby, don't you dare pour the water out of the bathtub

Colby: Noooooooo (dumps the bucket out and floods my bathroom floor)

Me: Why would you do that, I've told you 100 times not to do that?

Colby: hehe

running around the room while I'm trying to get him dressed and then squirming and kicking the entire time I'm getting his attire on

Climbing out of time-out and saying, "watch me".

running down the street and laughing at me as I'm chasing behind him yelling, "stop".

and worst of all......TANTRUMS!



Chris and I have always said we would not result to spanking, and I hate to admit it but Colby has had a few in the last several weeks. If we gave him a warning, used time-out, and he still continued then Chris would give him one pop on the behind but he made a tremendous effort to make sure it wasn't out of anger and he discussed it with Colby and always concluded with hugs and kisses.



After each spanking, we both felt horrible and wish it wouldn't have happened. I believe if something feels that bad then it's just not right for us!



It actually made his behavior worse. I really started to pray for guidance and answers. Chris and I are doing the Love Dare and I found my answer in love dare #6 Love is not irritable.



When under pressure love doesn't turn sour. Love does not get angry or hurt. Rage and violence are out of the question. A loving person will remain calm and patient.

I realized it is our fault when we become irritated with Colby's behavior.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Too often we throw caution to the wind and run full speed ahead, doing what feels right at the moment. Soon we are gasping for air, wound up in knots, and ready to snap. The increasing pressure can wear away at our patience and relationships. The bible teaches us to let love guide your relationships so you aren't caught up in unnecessary arguments (colossians 3:12-14).



We both knew God was speaking to us and we had some changes to make. We both agreed no more spanking....period!! We would be consistent with time-out and if we began to get too irritated by his behavior we will walk away, compose our patience, and come back to tackle the situation with love and understanding. This is only a stage that will be short lived and we don't won't to make mistakes that will effect the rest of his life just because we are lacking patience.



I immediately remembered a book that my friend Ashley gave me a while back and thank goodness she did! I read the baby info but skipped this part because I assumed Colby would never be so defiant......lol how naive!!
I don't think it's a coincidence that I thought about it.....it's the way God works!!

Ashley is an amazing mom that disciplines without spanking and it's working for her.........so I was anxious to get started on reading the secrets she received from this book so I can better understand how to tackle the twos!!

I love this book!!
I stayed up way past my bedtime last night becasue I couldn't get enough. The things I learned and applied just today have been WONDERFUL! We have had a calm, enjoyable day with not 1 tantrum!! Not too bad for the first day huh?

Info that slapped me in the face:

#1
Understanding why your toddler says "no" helps you to not be threatened by your toddler's behavior. Your toddler is not actually being defiant or stubborn. He is not saying, "I won't" rather, he is saying, "I don't won't to". This behavior is a normal part of your toddlers struggle to develop a sense of self. Some parents feel they can not tolerate a no from their child which winds up curtailing an important process of self-emergence. The boundaries of selfhood will be weak if it the self gets no exercise. As your child gets older the ability to get along with peers in certain situations (stealing, cheating, drugs, and so on ) will depend on her ability to say "no".

When a parent feels threatened by a toddler's "no" harsh words are likely to come. A confident parent will not perceive this as a threat to authority but rather as a healthy stage all toddlers need to go through. A mature adult does not react anxiously or punitively.

Wow....slap us in the face twice!!!! We were being immature and lacking confidence, but we are making a change right now that will better the life of our children.

#2
Discipline problems are likely to occur when a child is making a transition, such as a new sibling.
He needs more attention and love than ever before......not spankings.

#3
A toddler is not being defiant when you have to tell them something over and over.
Many directives don't sink in because most don't yet have the cognitive ability to remember and reflect on prior instructions.
This gets better closer to age three because they can internalize what you say.

#4
No amount of spanking will correct a child's behavior when the adult is not there to administer the blows ( they behave out of fear so when the adult isn't around they don't behave). Hitting is confusing and he won't know why he is being hit. There is always a better way to handle any situation.

I would love to tell you all the great advice to correct these behaviors without spanking but there is way to much info. It has great tactics that really work so get the book!!



Our Trip to New Orleans

eating beignets got a little messy!

The Time We Have Together

I'm so thankful to be a stay-home-mommy, and I enjoy every second of it! I've heard comments such as

You are so lucky

I wish I could stay home

I don't know how y'all make it on one salary


I really sympathize with mothers who desire to stay home with their children and can't due to financial reasons. I don't consider me staying home to be lucky because luck has nothing to do with trusting in God to provide and it's a tremendous sacrifice, for us at least.

I haven't bought a pair of shoes or an article of clothing in two years (thank goodness I indulged in shopping too much before Colby was born or I would be up a creek without a paddle)

we eat out maybe once or twice a month, unless our parents are treating (and I'm not talking about Outback....it's more like Mexican)

We don't have date nights unless it's a special occasion

I've replaced my salon products with $2 Suave and Oil Olay

I don't buy purses, jewelry, or expensive makeup (since Colby has broken all my jewelry, I'm down to ummmmm.......2 necklaces, 1 bracelet, and a few pair of earrings)

All our extra money goes to savings, college fund, and activities for Colby


but............

my alarm clock is "mommy mommy up" a sound that never gets old

I eat a peaceful breakfast with my son every morning.....well as peaceful as breakfast with a 2 year old can be!

We relax and cuddle while we watch his favorite cartoons

we play together all day and I teach him the things he needs to know in life

We have picnics together for lunch

I'm the face he sees before he closes his eyes for nap and I'm the face he sees when he wakes from nap

I'm the one that kisses his bobo when he needs a magical healing

I've never missed a milestone of his life

and I have to admit being a stay-home-mom is a demanding job, but I know it's God's purpose for me.


Nothing matters more than knowing God's purposes for your life, and nothing can compensate for not knowing them. Rick warren


Through this journey God has really shown me what are real NEEDS and what are things I can live without.


There will always be time for shopping, dining, and pampering but my babies are only babies for a blink of an eye.......and I'm not going to miss it!


Your value is not determined by your valuables, and God says the most valuable things in life are not THINGS! Rick Warren

Colby wants to be just like his daddy! He studied the position of Chris's body and had to place his arm exactly the same....it was sooo cute.

What a big responsibility we have as parents because there are always little eyes watching and we are shaping their character in every aspect!

I pray that Chris and I always make the most of our time together with our boys!

Colby & Chase Update

Chase is 6 weeks old and doing great!

The last few nights he is sleeping much better. I put him to bed around 7:00 and he sleeps until about 2:00, nurses, goes right back to sleep, wakes to eat again around 5;30, and goes back to sleep until about 7:00.

As for daytime sleep.......not so good! He has a hard time falling asleep and an even harder time staying asleep. He is still really young so I'm sure he will grow out of it soon...fingers crossed! Colby was such a great sleeper so this is an adjustment. When I was ready for Colby to take a nap, I would lay him in the bed, walk away, and he would go to sleep on his own within minutes and sleep for hours!
I'm wondering if I'm to blame for Chase's sleep pattern. When Colby was 6 weeks old I already had him on the Baby Whisperer EASY routine and it worked like a champ. I've been somewhat of a slacker with Chase because it's a little more difficult with two. So, I will be trying my best to get Chase on the routine this week!!


He wasn't ready for the bumbo yet.... "help mommy"!

My Sleeping Angel

Finally we had some pretty weather so we took the boys to the park. Chase's first trip to the park consisted of eating, eating, and eating some more! By the time he got through eating, it was time to go! I enjoyed the sunshine and watching Chris and Colby running around like crazy! Colby screamed "mone mone daddy, tom pay" the entire time. I told Colby to give Chase a kiss but he kissed daddy instead......he loves his daddy!

Relaxing at the park

I definitely have my hands full with this little munchkin!!

I went to get Colby out of his bed and found him in his birthday suit!

Me: what in the world are you doing?

Colby: hey mommy, I teetee.

Me: Okay, so you took all your clothes off?

Colby: Yea

Me: Where is your diaper?

Colby: here you dow

Me: You didn't like having a wet diaper on?

Colby: No

Me: You are so silly

Colby: Yea

The next morning was much better! He pulled his pants down, took off his diaper, and pulled his pants back up. Even though he did throw the diaper across the room, I was happy he managed to stay clothed!!!

Colby is also very thoughtful and helps me out as much as possible. When I went to lay Chase down for a nap, he noticed my cup was empty and prepared me a mocha!

What would I ever do without my little helper?????