Planning this event has been extremely time consuming, and I've decided I will need to detox when the expo is over....no phone or checking emails for at least a week! I will give my family my undivided attention with NO interruptions, they will be ever so thankful! I'm giddy just thinking about it! I know it's exactly what my soul needs too!
Don't get me wrong, I don't regret one minute of all the planning, hard work, and sacrifice. I'm blessed to say, "I'm living my purpose, and I get to share my passions with the world!" Okay, maybe not the world, but at least my local community, which in time does become the world, right? Change is created one person at a time and travels like a wave around the world!
Tonight I was feeling the effects of sleep deprivation but as usual God showed up with that Aha moment, and I was reminded exactly why I'm so passionate about sharing peaceful parenting.
Colby (5) got an IPod for a Christmas gift and I'm trying to figure out how to let him enjoy it and learn self regulation on his own, but the process is taking too long for my liking. I want my child back that loves to read books, paint a masterpiece, play Candyland, and do puzzles for hours, not be an IPod face all day. Today I let him play 30 minutes and then gave it to Chase to play for 30 minutes, and it wasn't ten minutes before Colby convinced Chase to hand it over. I was feeling frustrated and when I removed the IPod from his hand, he yelled at me, "I WAS GOING TO GIVE IT BACK!"
It was the first time he has ever yelled at me and I will be honest, I got a little emotional. I don't punish, I only model and teach so I told him I needed him to go to the other room and calm down and I would join him once I calmed down too.
Five minutes later I went to talk-it-out.
Colby, are you calmed down?
Yes mam.
I'm feeling very hurt and I need you to control your voice when you get mad.
I'm sorry for yelling.
I forgive you. Thank you for apologizing. Everyone makes mistakes.
I know mom, it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from your mistakes, right?
Right! When you got mad you exploded and you didn't think of our wheel of choice did you?
No Mam.
Yelling at someone is never an option!
I know. I just got really frustrated because I wanted to play but I know what you said....it's because you love me so much!
I promise that is exactly why I give you instructions. I'm trying to help you and it really hurt my feelings when you yelled at me. Do I yell at you?
No mam. You get a little loud sometimes.
But do I yell in anger?
No mam.
I expect you to respect me the same way.
Okay. Well you make me feel lonely.
WHAT???? I make you feel lonely?
Yes! When you send me to a room by myself, I feel lonely.
I'm so sorry I made you feel lonely, that was not my intention at all. Thank you for telling me how you are feeling. I didn't send you to another room to make you feel bad about what you did. I thought it would be a good idea to separate, calm down, and then talk-it-out. Do you have a better idea?
Maybe I could just walk to the other side of the room and calm down.
I think that is a good idea, if it works for you, it works for me.
We wrapped it up by hugging-it-out and I felt like my heart was going to jump right out of my chest! I ran to tell my parents and try to control myself from jumping up and down!
I felt awful I made him feel lonely but I also felt so proud that he is learning to control his anger, learning from mistakes, recognizes when an apology is in order, comes up with solutions to a problem, and most importantly, trust me with his feelings!
Positive Discipline can seem tedious, repetitive, and just plain exhausting at times but when the long term results start to surface you will smile so much your face will hurt!
Now, tomorrow when Chase ( 3 next week) is giving me a run for my money, I will just replay this special conversation over in my head and tell myself,
ALL IN TIME!
Enjoy The Journey!
