Fear Strangles Hope

I am always humbled how a few words spoken during church can make such a drastic impact in my life....especially since a few words might be the only words I hear the entire service, courtesy of two exuberant, little squirts!

During the homily this morning, Father exclaimed, "FEAR WILL STRANGLE HOPE!"

It played in my head over and over, and was causing me to focus on many things in my life right now, but in particular, one specific thing that had actually brought tears to my eyes just moments earlier.

FEAR WILL STRANGLE HOPE

FEAR WILL STRANGLE HOPE

FEAR WILL STRANGLE HOPE

As a mom, I tend to hold onto fear when I should just let it go, give it to God, and let it be!

Fear can eat away at a heart...............

Am I raising my children as Christ would.....after all, they are HIS children?

Am I pleasing in God's eyes with my choices of discipline?

Am I always forgiving, gracious, and understanding as he ask of me?

Am I guiding my children down the right path that will make them men after God's own heart?


If you remember my post about losing my patience with Colby and delivering a not so pleasant God-awful face that was eye opening when he threw it right back at me. Why would I expect anything less....children imitate the ones they love! 

Remember this face.............

(He does tend to exaggerate a tid bit!)


It definitely isn't heartwarming to see your negative flaws displayed in your children! I chose to use it, grow, and make a change, but fear in my heart has a way of lingereing!

This morning we entered the house of the Lord and Colby dipped his fingers in the Holy Water, went down on one knee and did the sign of the cross before taking his seat, and then kneeled next to his daddy and prayed before the music filled the air!

Talk about one proud mommy!

Talk about my heart pounding!

Talk about a lump in my throat!

Talk about the tears in my eyes!

Talk about a sense of pride that released all fear from my heart!

Then the spoken words actually traveled from the alter and leaped directly into my heart!

FEAR WILL STRANGLE HOPE!


God was saying to me...........you've got this, but most importantly, I'VE GOT THIS!

Yes, there will be days that I will feel like my parenting actions have failed to display the love of Christ, but I won't let it become fear in my heart anymore, since fear strangles hope!

What an amazing gift to give my children and myself, HOPE!

I John 4:18
 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love.


Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and He heard me,And delivered me from all my fears.







Until Next Time..................

My Birthing Journey- Why a Natural Birth?

Why do you want a natural birth? A question I have received a few times, and I never really know how to answer it......since it's a loaded question!

If I could sit down for hours over coffee, then maybe! But, it's too difficult to answer quickly.

The question doesn't bother me at all, but usually the ones that ask have never had any interest in learning about birth, so I don't even know where to begin!

I'm definitely not saying natural is the right choice, there are no right choices....you just have to find the right choice for you! I love everything about birth, and I'm really passionate about gaining knowledge on all things birthing. I would love to become a doula.....actually I probably will in the future. Everything about birth is extremely intriguing to me, and I just can't get enough....I could read birth stories all day long, and study all about birth until I'm blue in the face!

I know not everyone else shares the same passion, so I'm not surprised when someone confusingly says, "why would you have a natural birth?" I just know that I have a different knowledge and perspective on the topic since it's an interest of mine....which is OKAY, different strokes for different folks!

There is an endless list of reasons why natural is the choice for me....

I know that any artificial interruption in birthing, even for the best of intentions, adds risks. Whenever we interfere with the normal process of birthing, we increase the risks to both the mother and her child. I also realize that all medications taken during pregnancy are passed to the baby to one degree or another.

It's about making the safest, gentlest choices for the well-being of my child, but as important as the health aspect is to me, it isn't the biggest factor in my desire to go natural.

I don't believe that birth is a medical emergency! Just like my heart knows to beat and my lungs to breath.....my body knows how to birth my baby!

The birth of my boys both included interventions for one reason or another, so I've been there and done that! I want a completely "PURE" experience with this birth.

Of course, I'm not going into this with unrealistic expectations and I'm not against intervention if it's a medical emergency, but I am preparing for the best possible chance of achieving the birth experience I desire!

I feel in my heart that natural childbirth is a gift of divine creation. It's a defining moment in our lives , a time when we meet ourselves and allow our greatest potential to be filled. I believe the soul is tied to the experience of childbirth and God uses it in a profound way. Through speaking with women about their natural birth expereince I have learned how amazing, beautiful, and completely encompassed in love natural childbirth can be!

I want a Gentle birth for baby girl. I want her to be born in peace, balance, and harmony with life. The first steps in her new little life and the experience will teach and imprint her deeply.




From a Christian perspective, experiencing natural childbirth gave me a deeper understanding into the meaning of the Bible passage, "But women will be saved through childbearing" (I Tim 2:15) This is not referring to salvation from eternal death, but to something quite different. There are many different interpretations and lines of thought on this passage. But to me it has become clear that God has used the "curse" of the Fall (for man, hard and unproductive labor in their lifework, for women, pain in childbirth) to also be our greatest blessings. Who would deny that men find some of their greatest blessings and self-identity through hard work and discovery/industry/building/etc.? And I know now that women can find some of their deepest grounding, meaning, and self-identity in the pain of childbirth. Our curse has become our blessing.  -unknown



________________________________________________________________
Today we went to Big Brother/Sister class and had a great time! Colby didn't pay much attention..surprise surprise, and when the teacher asked if there were any questions he raised his hand and asked the most important question of all, "can we have one of those cookies now?"

I will have to admit that he had some skills in the diaper changing department...I just might put him to work!!

 Chase didn't quite get his badge in the diaper changing challenge, but he sure knows how to share the love!!

  I was proud of my little graduates!

Until Next Time...............

Fill My Cup

I have really let the rat race of life make me throw a pity party for myself these last few weeks, but thank goodness my Lord and Savior knocked me over the head with some clarity!!

As you know, I've basically been a single mother while Chris has been on orders....by the way, I don't know how single mothers do it all, and when my children are older, I plan on finding a single mother and making her a ministry of mine...SERIOUSLY!

Meeting the needs of a one and three year old while I'm 33 weeks preggo without the relief of my wonderful hubby coming home has had quite a few challenges!  I have allowed those challenges to bring out the worst in my mommy abilities and I have to admit....I am so ashamed. Colby, my limit pusher, has seen better days of his mommy, for sure!

He is full of life, active is an understatment, persistently stubborn, and he is so stinking smart that he pushes me to the limit with his logical arguments. I have been losing my patience with him and getting extremely aggravated with his behavior. I know it's his temperament, age, and the fact that he really misses his daddy, but in the moment I lose sight of it all, and I behave in a manner that I know isn't grace-based and doesn't reflect the love of Christ!

In the last few days, I know my tone, facial expressions, and body language have been reflecting nothing short of EXASPERATED and that is not the message I ever want to send to my child!

On top of that, Chase is not a high-need child AT ALL, so I'm sure Colby feels as though he is to blame since the attack seems to be aimed in his direction.

Colby is not the one to blame...I AM!

I took Colby to preschool this morning and it was all weighing heavy on my heart! We said a little prayer together before getting out of the car, and then I continued to talk to the Lord as I drove home!
I love pouring my heart out to the Lord because I'm always amazed by his answers.

Long story short....he told me LOUD AND CLEAR I needed to fill my cup up more and start making it a priority.....no matter how difficult it is to find the time!

As soon as Chase went down for nap, I was on a mission to fill my cup and I did exactly what was on my heart....I knew it was God-led!

I decided to watch one of Chip Henderson's sermons, but God had a different plan! I went to Pinelake Sermons and the very first thing that caught my eyes were the words.... Life Moments! I was so drawn towards it that I knew it was a message for me. The message was from a guest speaker, and it was AMAZING!


August 7: Life Moments from Pinelake Church on Vimeo.

I'm always in awe of God and his way of carrying me through life trials! He specifically answered every single prayer I layed at his feet.....I sure do serve a mighty God!

I hope you take a moment to listen to the message....it's worth every minute of your time!




Insights from the message that God used to speak directly to me....

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.....that's why they call it the PRESENT!

Following Jesus isn't always easy, but it's not complicated...Love God and love people!

Soak up the moment, slow down, and treasure it!

Don't just do life and miss the moments.

Remember to say each day, "I'm the most fortunate woman on Earth!"

Most importantly:

BE JOYFUL ALWAYS, PRAY CONTINUALLY, GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, FOR THIS IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU IN CHRIST.
1 THES 5:16-18

Until Next Time..............

Chase Loves...............

My little Chasey Poo at almost 19 months LOVES..................

Loves his new big boy bed!
He holds me captive until he falls asleep, which I don't mind at all! He curls up next to me, usually cheek to cheek and throws his little arm around me.....moments I will never forget! He usually wakes up at least once during the night and sits straight up in the bed until I return to his side, then he calmly conforms back to his nestled position and drifts back off to dreamland!

 Loves his Big Brother!
I heard a sweet sound, so I peaked in and found him rocking Chase and singing Jesus Loves Me.....melted my heart on the spot!

 Loves to potty with Colby!
Colby has practically potty trained that little squirt!

 Loves to eat outside!
Frankly, he just loves being outside period.

 Loves his cheese smile for pics!

Loves his favorite word...MORE!

MORE is a good word for him since he has a way of making me fall in love MORE & MORE with each passing day!

Until Next Time.........

Two Tricks for an Easier Birth!

I love talking it up with other mommies who have had a natural birth....each and every mom has different advice and tips to help with birthing! Madeline gave me a little insight on the benefits of dates and red raspberry tea! I took myself down to Rainbow Natural Foods and purchased these goodies today.....easier birth here I come!!

(BTW...if you ever need support with a VBAC, Mrs. Thing had herself a beautiful VBAC at home! Read her birth story here!)

Eases child-birth: Eating dates eases the pain of childbirth. Scientifically they are known to contain hormones which strengthen the uterus, help produce milk for nursing mothers and also prevent blood loss after childbirth. (The ripe fruit contains a substance that urges uterine spasms and increases contractions especially in the time of delivery. This substance resembles 'oxytocin' that is secreted by pituitary gland, which encourages contractions of the uterus. Dates contain some stimulants which strengthen the muscles of the uterus in the last months of pregnancy. This helps the dilation of the uterus at the time of delivery and reduces post-natal bleeding).
Ideal for breast-feeding mothers: Dieticians consider dates the best food for breast-feeding mothers. This is because dates contain elements that assist in alleviating depression and enrich the breast milk with the nutrients needed to make the child healthy and resistant to disease.



How Red Raspberry Leaf Helps the Pregnant Mother & Baby:

The increased vitamin A intake, in the form of carotenoids of RRL can aid the women’s immune system as well as facilitate healthy skin and bone development for the baby. The Vitamin E helps to promote better circulation in the mother whose blood volume dramatically increases during pregnancy. RRL contains an easily assimilated form of calcium. An increased availability of calcium is necessary in controlling nerve response to pain during childbirth and in aiding bone development in the baby. The presence of fragrine allows the uterus to contract more powerfully and effectively during labor. The high vitamin and mineral content helps to replace those that are lost via blood loss in delivery. The alkaloids that are present will also aid in toning the uterus after birth as it returns back to its usual size.



Other Pregnancy Related Benefits of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea:

-It increases fertility in both men and women (drink for a few months while trying to conceive).

-Prevents miscarriage and postpartum hemorrhage by helping to tone the uterus thus creating a relaxed (atonic) uterus.

-Eases morning sickness

-Reduces pain during labor and after birth: By toning the muscles used during labor and delivery RRL eliminates many of the reasons for a painful delivery and prolonged recovery. It does not, however, counter the pain of pelvic dilation.

-Assists in the production of plentiful breast milk

-Can help make labor faster: RRL works to encourage the uterus to let go and function without tension. It doesn’t strengthen contractions but it does allow the uterus to work more efficiently

-Studies show that women taking RRL have a reduced incidence of artificial rupture of membranes, forceps delivery or cesarean



All very interesting, right?



Until Next Time..................

God-Awful Face

I'm 31 weeks pregnant, Chase is on the go and into everything 24/7, and Buzz is his usual self..... Mr. limit pusher!

Needless to say I haven't been my usual patient self.....I think it's a combination of my hubby not being home + hormones!

Colby has taken notice of the unpleasant change! Tonight he kept making this God-awful face........

Colby, I need you to quit making that face....it hurts my feelings!

I'm very upset with you.

Why? I'm serious, that isn't a nice face at all!

You make that face when you get very upset at my wrong choices.

Oh, geez louise! Do I really?

Yes, mam!

I'm so sorry! Does that face hurt your feelings?

Yes, it does!

Let's make a pinky promise......let's both stop making that mean face and only make sweet faces!

Okay....pinky promise!

I immediately thought of something I read this week (#99) ...........

If you have come to a point in a challenging situation with your child where you feel that the only thing left to do is to yell at or strike your child, step away from the child.

Here are 101 things you can do instead of yelling or spanking (or in my case making a God- awful face) :

1. Take a parental time-out.
2. Call for help from a friend or family member (ask them to give you an immediate break if possible).
3. Pile everyone in the car and drive to the park (or anywhere – just go for a change of scenery).
4. Sing a silly song about how angry you are.
5. Do jumping jacks.
6. Draw your feelings out.
7. Make yourself your favorite snack.
8. Write down 3 instances when you felt intense love for your child.
9. Clean out your clothes closet and set aside a bag for Goodwill (now would probably not be a good time to do this with the kids’ toys).
10. Change the subject – come back to it when you and your child are calmer.
11. Whisper.
12. Practice progressive relaxation.
13. Act like animals: stomp like an elephant, growl like a lion, etc.
14. Run around the house (or around the block if your children have alternate childcare).
15. Do a load of laundry.
16. Set out clothes for the kids for the next week (or do some other task that will pay off later).
17. Release tension: shake your shoulders, roll your neck, etc.
18. Count to 100. Out loud. In a robot voice.
19. Immerse yourself in an easy craft project.
20. Dust off the hedge clippers and trim your trees or other landscaping.
21. If your child allows it, give him a huge hug and tell him you love him.
22. Scream into a pillow.
23. Bake cookies (with help from your child), bring some to a neighbor or your local fire department.
24. Dance to your favorite song.
25. Instead of yelling at your kids to do something, act out your request in a game of charades or pictionary.
26. Pluck your eyebrows.
27. Clean out the refrigerator.
28. Bang your head – to some loud music.
29. Write down the angry words you could have said, then rip the paper up and throw it away.
30. Do some yoga.
31. Rearrange the furniture.
32. Make a list of the many reasons you love your child.
33. Wash the car by hand.
34. Laugh in as many different ways as you can think of (think Mary Poppins).
35. Take everyone and go sit in a car wash. Choose the option for colored soap.
36. Chocolate.
37. Call a friend who supports gentle discipline (think about finding a “gentle discipline partner” who you can talk to anytime you feel the urge to yell or spank).
38. Fall down theatrically on the floor. Lie there long enough to collect yourself.
39. Pay bills.
40. Keep a roll of tape handy – use it on your mouth.
41. Squeeze a stress ball.
42. Recite multiplication tables.
43. Stand as silent and still as possible.
44. Paint your nails.
45. Do 25 sit-ups.
46. Finish a task you’ve been putting off.
47. Listen to an audio book.
48. Take a bubble bath.
49. Ask a silly question. Ask another.
50. Take a walk around your neighborhood or a park and clean up the trash.
51. Run up and down the stairs.
52. Paint on different mediums (paper, rocks, your windows, etc.).
53. Write a story using only 100 words.
54. Cook a meal for the freezer.
55. Look at pictures of your child when she was a baby.
56. Play Solitaire (or whatever game strikes your fancy).
57. Brew some of your favorite tea or coffee. Have a tea party.
58. Sweep, vacuum, or mop.
59. Learn something new online.
60. Play with Playdough or clay.
61. Put a movie on for the kids; have sex with your partner.
62. Take a shower.
63. Organize meal plans for the next week. Or month. Or year.
64. Set up an obstacle course for you and your kids to do (inside or out).
65. Instead of shouting something angrily, shout “I love you!!”
66. Make up a rhyme about how much you love your child. Recite it while standing on your head.
67. Play ball (basketball, throw a tennis ball against a wall, play catch with someone, etc.).
68. Take artsy pictures.
69. Make a PostSecret postcard.
70. Pull weeds.
71. Decoupage something.
72. Blow bubbles.
73. Make a list of “things I would rather do than engage in power struggles with my child.”
74. Trade roles with your child: pretend you are the little, and she is the adult.
75. Reorganize a closet or cabinet.
76. Roll around on an exercise ball.
77. Make bread or pizza dough (the kind you have to knead).
78. Form a drum circle: everyone grab a drum or a pot, and start playing.
79. Build a tower out of books (or anything handy). Knock it down.
80. Gather the kids for a nature walk around the block.
81. Have a few funny videos saved on YouTube to watch when you need a break.
82. Take silly pictures of yourself. Invite your child to help.
83. Ask your Facebook or Twitter friends to tell you a joke.
84. Scrub the shower.
85. Write a poem (it doesn’t have to be a good one).
86. Send postcards to random people.
87. Make a silly (and unrelated) announcement. (“For the rest of the day, everyone must hop on one foot when moving about the house!”)
88. Make funny faces. Tell your child that no matter what, they must not laugh.
89. Turn on a videocamera. Turn the opportunity into one of love and connection that you can be proud of later.
90. Play an instrument.
91. Take the family to a park with sidewalk chalk: write/draw inspirational messages/pictures.
92. Learn how to say a few words in another language (ASL, Spanish, etc.).
93. Floss.
94. Jump rope.
95. Do something nice for someone else. (Involve your child if he wants to help.)
96. Write your feelings down on paper.
97. Meditate or pray.
98. Hug your child’s teddy bear or doll and talk about how much you love your child (while your child is watching, if you’d like).
99. Look into a mirror and realize what your child is seeing when you are angry.
100. Remember your child is young, and innocent, and loves you, and needs to trust you.
101. Take a minute to calm down and breastfeed your child. (It’s hard to be angry at a child who is nursing, plus the act of breastfeeding releases hormones that will help calm both of you down.)

The bottom line is to not scream at or hit your child (or make a God-awful face). It’s ok to step away from the situation or to defuse a fight by using laughter or love instead of instantly turning to discipline or punishment. If you are trying to “teach” your child something, she will not learn when you are approaching her with anger – whether it is in your voice or in your hand. All she will feel is fear.

Talk about it when both you and your child are calm. Chances are, you will both feel better about the outcome.

It's hard to look at sometimes, but our children will reflect to us a change we need to make!

“While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about.”

Until Next Time.........

Birthing Power

Our last attachment parenting meeting was all about birth preparation. We discussed the Business of Being Born.......



I recommend watching the entire documentary......it's extremely enlightening!

We also discussed birthing choices and knowing your options. It was inspiring to hear such positive birth stories and insights. If you plan on having a natural birth, I encourage you to surround yourself with positive support......it makes a huge difference!

Everyone also agreed Ina May's guide to childbirth is a must read........

All the moms at the meeting experienced all different types of births:

Home Births

VBACS

Natural Birth in a hospital

C-section

Medicated Birth

The most important thing is to have a birth plan but to remember things don't always go as planned! There isn't the right birth choice it's only the right birth choice for you!

As women we should all support each other's birth choices and only offer positive encouragement!

We ended the meeting with 7 tips for better birth bonding- Here!

It was a great meeting!!

Until Next Time........