About the Book:
Why are there increasing numbers of children experiencing depression, anxiety, aggression, and other serious mental, emotional, and behavioral problems? Mental health experts agree that that this crisis is due largely to their lack of deep connectedness to parents and community. This crucial finding requires a major shift in societal attitudes and our treatment of children.
Attached at the Heart: 8 Proven Parenting Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children. In this book, you’ll learn:
· Important facts you need to know before and after having your baby
· Strategies to strengthen the emotional bonds with your child
· How to be a more conscious parent with your children
· New information to help you make informed decisions
· How raising our children with empathy and respect can positively affect society
No other parenting book is as comprehensive in its scope, from an overview of attachment theory and current child development research to practical strategies for everyday situations. Attached at the Heart is a vital blueprint for change that begins at home.
One thing from this book that continues to stand out in my mind is the Okinawa culture.
Dr. Moloney went to Okinawan after World War II and was expecting a horrific psychological impact on the Okinawans. He was amazed how the people survived amazingly well after such horrible circumstances . He found out that before the war they had no psychological wards, and there had only been ONE murder in the largest city in the last 75 years.
Dr. Moloney felt the key component to the mental health and compassion of the Okinawan people was how they parent their children.
Prior to the war, there was not a single asylum or psychiatrist for the entire island, which had a population of nearly 400,000 persons. In the western world, over fifty percent of all hospital beds were allocated to those suffering from mental disease. The relatively few psychotic persons encountered in Okinawa Shima pose a problem for speculation. The fact that these people remained emotionally stable after having suffered heavy bombings, losing their homes and their crops, and having entire families annihilated, was astonishing."
Dr. Maloney's explanation of the phenomenon became the center of his work.
". . . and I believe that I can supply one of the explanations. First of all, I do not believe that these people are constitutionally sounder than Americans...Rather, in my opinion, this psychological stamina stems from the excellent start the Okinawan child gets in life. He is well-mothered."
When a child is born in Okinawa, that baby becomes the preoccupation of the mother. "The infant is permitted the breast from the hour of birth, not only for feeding but to allay fear until he is 2 years old. The mother does "everything within her power" to prevent "early frustrations." This stems from the belief that frustration during the nursing period may create a host of gastrointestinal problems from peptic ulcers or irritable colon to diarrhea and constipation. The mother seldom leaves her baby. Dr. Maloney stated that he had seen little corporal punishment in this culture. If the child breaks a valuable object, the mother scolds herself for lack of wisdom in leaving the object accessible to one so young.
In 1946, these enlightened doctors discovered the value of what we now call attachment parenting - meeting the dependency needs of children in a responsive, gentle way.
Okinawan mothers breastfed on demand (not on strict schedules) for 2 years, wear their babies in carriers or carried by other family members, always showed their children respect, and never used physical discipline.
In spite of the fact that the parents were so "permissive" the children were very well behaved and rarely cried.
The lesson of Okinawa is the lesson of consent, the lesson that indicates that if a child is well-mothered and well-guided by both parents, then the child given the best of all possible starts in life and seems well on his way to emotional stability.
The lesson of Okinawa is the lesson of consent, the lesson that indicates that if a child is well-mothered and well-guided by both parents, then the child given the best of all possible starts in life and seems well on his way to emotional stability.
He became convinced that their style of parenting was the key to WORLD PEACE!
We can learn a lot from Okinawa mothers!
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