When Colby was a baby I was very confused about co-sleeping, bedsharing, and family bed. I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I did very little research to find the best possible choice for my family, and I just took the advice of AAP Safe Sleep Campaign that discouraged and frightened parents from bringing their infants to their bed.
I'm kicking myself right about now for making such an important decision based on such little evidence! I'm thankful I didn't make the same mistake with Chase!
You see.........the campaign is very misleading! All deaths reported due to co-sleeping included:
Sleeping on couches and recliners with their babies (exhausted parents scared to put the baby in the bed.....which is way safer!)
non-sober parents rolling over on their baby
smoking in the house
Ironically if a baby's death occurs in an unsafe environment, it is reported as a "co- sleeping" death.
Why doesn't the campaign give all the details? Their reasoning: It's just too many logistics and the majority of parents are neither educable nor intelligent enough to understand all the details and make their own decision about how, or whether, to co- sleep, so we will make it short and simple and say, "put your baby on his back in his own crib to prevent SIDS"....and that's that!!
If your in the same boat I was.....desiring to sleep and cuddle with your baby but warned of the danger, then here is some accurate information that I hope helps you to make a safe and appropriate choice for your baby/family.
Sharing sleep, when practiced by informed parents, can be safe and beneficial to bonding and creating a secure attachment. In fact, many cultures around the world, where millions of parents routinely sleep with their children, have reported some of the lowest SIDS rates. In some of the cultures, such as China and Japan, it is virtually nonexistent.
Four studies show quite conclusively that putting babies to sleep in a room by themselves before 6 months of age doubles their chances of dying from SIDS.
Holy Moly.....you think AAP would have campaigned that tid bit of information and promoted co-sleeping (sleeping in close proximity but not sharing a bed).
From a physiologic basis, when co-sleeping, the baby experiences more periods of light sleep, which stabilises heart rates and breathing patterns which decreases the risk of SIDS.
Best option for co-sleeping.....
lots to choose from here!
a co-sleeper bed allows you to push it right up to the bed and it becomes an extension of your bed but still provides the baby his own space, so you don't have nights like this....LOL!
Babies feel warm, secure, and protected which leads to a closer bond. In addition, co-sleeping enhances the breastfeeding and attachment relationship. Co-sleeping improves mother's milk supply, increases the number of feedings, and increases the duration of the breastfeeding relationship.
Everything you need to know about the benefits of co-sleeping and how to do it safely.....here!!!
I feel like I missed out on an incredible bonding experience by not allowing Colby to share our bed. Why do I think so.......I have experienced it with Chase and it's unfortunate I robbed Colby of the experience! I'm trying to make up for it by encouraging him to come in our bed whenever he feels the need during the night, but I can't get the time back when he was a baby.
I always believed babies needed to sleep alone to gain independence and now I know it's a myth! Why did I want my baby to be independent anyway, he wasn't an adult for goodness sake......it just seems absurd to me at this point!
Dr. McKenna suggests that there are several factors that maintain this cultural norm. Foremost is the American value of self-sufficiency. Independence is an important characteristic for a successful person in our society. We take great pride in watching our babies pick themselves up by their own bootie straps. But the assumption that co-sleeping inhibits independence is pure cultural mythology. In fact, the opposite it true.
Children who share sleep with their parents are actually more independent than their peers. They perform better in school, have higher self esteem, and fewer health problems. After all, who is more likely to be well-adjusted, the child who learns that his needs will be met, or the one who is left alone for long periods of time? McKenna suggests that it is confusing for a baby to receive cuddles during the day while also being taught that the same behavior is inappropriate at night.
My experience:
Chase is a very attached baby and physically needed me to sleep so I met his need. He woke up 4-7 times a night to nurse and sometimes just desired touch. I kept his crib next to my bed but if he needed to cuddle to get back to sleep then he shared our bed. At 9 months, I put his crib in his room since my hubby kept waking him up. First three nights he slept until about 11:00 and then came to bed with me. The last two nights he has slept 7:00-6:00 without waking at all!! I met his needs, I let him figure out this whole sleep thing on his own time, he knows I'm in there at the first cry, he trust me.........that's all he needed!
It might have taken 9 months, but I know my approach proved to him
that he is unconditionally loved.....even at night!! If it would have taken three years....I would have proved my commitment!
Parents can of course choose to ignore it (a baby's crying), but perhaps that child will ignore them when they turn 14, 15, or 16 too.
Dr. James Mckenna
Until Next Time.......
No comments:
Post a Comment