Friday, October 1, 2010

Happy Heart

Today was a special day for Colby that I want to document! Our decision to not use corporal punishment stems from the fact that true obedience is out of love and not fear. What good is obedience out of fear once a child is older and no longer fears the threat of pain. I want his odedience to be a heart thing!! I really try to drill in his head that God tells us........

we have to honor and obey our parents

God expects us to obey with a happy heart

that love is not rude

life is about making others have a happy heart

obedience is love and disobedience is rude

I will be honest, it can be extremeley hard not to spank his little booty when he pushes me to the limit!!  It takes a lot more time and energy to put him in time-out, make sure he remains there for 3 minutes, discuss why he went to time-out, replay what he should have done and what would have been a better choice, remind him that he disobeyed and Mommy does NOT have a happy heart!! I'm tired just thinking about the process we do several times a day, but I know the time invested now will produce a better outcome long term!!

Today a little light bulb went off in Colby's very HARD head! He stayed the night with his Gammy last night and then had a day full of truck shopping and adventures at the park. I called him just as he was leaving the park........

Hey Boo Boo. whatcha doing?

I pay at the park with Gammy!!

Oh wow! Are you having a good time?

Yea mam, I obey so dood and Gammy's heart is so happy!!

It was such a gratifying moment for me! I wanted to jump up, do a cheer, and top it off with a back flip,  but I quickly remembered I tried a back flip not too long ago and ended up in the ER.....I learned my lesson!

It was music to my ear.....
He understands that obedience is out of love and love is expressed through actions that makes others happy!

I was walking on SUNSHINE....at least for a moment!

It was time for wild-man to return home and you know how kiddos act after being with grandparents all-day........chaotic, I tell you!

Colby charges in the house like he is on a mission to be completely out of control. He started off using Chase's walker as a race car that crashed into my legs not once, but twice. Then, he proceeded to dump out every toy in the toy box and throw them across the room. Next, he almost tore the blinds off the window, ran away from me while I was trying to get him dressed for the game and told his Gammy NOOOOOO when she corrected his behavior.

At this point, Chase was screaming quit loud.....,,,I guess he feared the Tasmanian that was throwing toys his direction or maybe he was fearing the steam that was shooting from my ears at this point.

Now I'm yelling over Chase's screams for Colby to go to Time-Out and it became a rat race around the house to get him there, and the louder my voice got, the faster he ran away.

It's a good thing I don't allow myself to spank because at that moment he would have gotten a spanking  and it would have been out of anger......which is the worse possible punishment ever!  Spanking out of anger has some serious negative effects......it's ranked right up there with yelling at your kids, which is exactly what I did.....unintentionally!

When he finally realized I was very upset with him he stopped in his tracks and said, "I obey mommy!"........... like when someone is about to catch you so you just surrender. It didn't matter what he said at that point, he was going to time-out and I was going to take a breather before I discussed his behavior. I sent my mom out to the car to get Colby's time-out mat and she informed me that my neighbors were starring and it must be because all my windows were up!!

Lovely......next time why don't I just record one of Colby's escapades and me losing my cool and just play it on a projector in the front lawn!

Getting too loud is definitely a weakness that I pray about frequently. It just comes out and I don't even realize I'm getting loud. If I'm correcting Colby and he isn't responding  to my request, my voice starts getting higher and higher with each request.......as if that helps. It actually makes it worse. I told Chris that I don't realize when I'm getting too loud so I asked him to inform me anytime my voice starts raising above a normal voice. I didn't won't Colby to think Daddy was rebuking Mommy so we made up a password..... potato.

It really works! Chris can sense my frustration and determine if I'm about to raise my voice and he says.....potato! It's a great way to stop, cool down, and it makes me laugh.

Too bad Chris was at work because the neighbors didn't say "potato!"

Mom told me I got too loud with him so I used it as a learning lesson and  I apologized to Colby. I told him that I was being rude by yelling and I was sorry. I explained that I was aggravated, and I didn't make the right choice!

His response......

Its otay, I have a happy heart now!!


Bless his heart!!  We went to Daddy's football game, where he sat in time-out again....


but had so much fun with the AMR staff!!!

Until Next Time.............

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