Handling Criticism

Babies can’t be spoiled… only nurtured!

Babies, like food, only get spoiled if they are left

 

unattended on a shelf. 

I love this quote! It's definitely a fav of mine and might even make my top 10 list. I spotted this fantastic quote when I read this article today, and it really hit home for me. learning more and more about attachment parenting has really taught me that Colby isn't necessarily a strong-willed child, rather he is a high need child. Raising a high need child can be challenging but I still focus on the parent I desire to be, despite negative criticism.....such as, tear his booty up!

If you have a high need child, you will appreciate Dr. Sears's great advice on handling criticism!

Handling Criticism

Dr. Sears

Having a high-need child can make you a ready target for critics. The hardest thing is having others think that by trying to meet your child’s needs you have created them, and by being sensitive to them, you’re making them worse. To protect yourself and your child from unwanted and unhelpful advice, try these suggestions taken from The Fussy Baby Book.

Keep your complaints private. Going public with your complaints exposes you to critics. Choose carefully to whom you gripe. Don’t ask questions you don’t want answered. It’s best to share with like-minded friends and parents who share your parenting philosophy, preferably ones who are also parenting a high-need child.

Protect yourself.  If your critics conclude you are withering away, they will feel compelled to water you with advice. They may assume that your baby is a burden to you and what you really need is a break from your baby. Set the record straight: “Actually, I love having my baby with me all the time.” In effect, you are conveying, “I’m okay, I don’t need your help with the baby, thank you.” Of course, if there are other kinds of help you need- with the dishes, laundry- now may be a good time to ask. When critics suggest that your parenting style is spoiling your baby, tell them, “Babies can’t be spoiled… only nurtured” or “Babies, like food, only get spoiled if they are left unattended on a shelf. “

Shield your child. It’s easy for your child’s self-image to be effected by comments from friends and relatives. Don’t let negative vibrations rub off on your child. If you’re invited to a home where you know critics are going to give your child a “Why aren’t you like the other children?” message, don’t go. Don’t discuss your child’s challenges within his hearing.

Be positive. Friends and family will pick up on how you assess your own child. If you are negative, complaining, and seem overwhelmed by your high-needs child, expect friends to react the same way. But, if you seem excited and proud to have this energetic child, they will be impressed with her positive qualities rather than regarding her as your “problem child.” If a critic pronounces, “My, she is obstinate,” come back with “Yes, she is very persistent.” When the critic says, “He’s so boisterous,” come back with “He has a lot of enthusiasm.”

Consider where the source got her parenting info. Your mother really does have your best interests and those of her grandchild at heart, but she raised you in an era when scheduling, bottle-feeding, cribs, playpens, spanking, and fear of spoiling were standard. Naturally, her views on child rearing will differ from yours. Accept this. Nothing divides friends and relatives like differences of opinion on raising kids. Pick out those childcare practices that you and your mother agree on, and keep the conversation centered on those; for the rest, simply agree to disagree.