So many changes come with motherhood and one thing I've noticed about being a mom is the awareness of love for children or the lack thereof. I notice so much more now and it sticks with me forever.
As I was walking into the drugstore there was a little girl (about 2) and she was wearing little boy clothes that were about 3 sizes too big, had a dirty face, and unwashed hair. She was shivering as she cried to her mother and pleaded to go inside but her mother told her to hush, she had to finish her cigarette. My heart hurt for the little girl, but I walked by and kissed Colby on the forehead in attempts not to cry. The mother and daughter got in line behind us and she told the little girl she had to get lice medicine so she could go back (I assume daycare). The little girl reached up to her mom and started to whine because she wanted to be held and her response was, "shut up, you can walk". I wanted to pick her up so bad and hold her as long she wanted so that she felt loved. When I was putting Colby into his car seat I saw her put the little girl in the front seat with no car seat and no seat belt. I looked at the little girl staring out of the window and I gave her a big smile and I wanted to take her home with us.
I asked myself, where is the love?
In the grocery store, a dad yelled in an angry voice at his son (about 5) why do you act so stupid? Why can't you act like a smart white boy? Hello, what kind of comment is that?
Why would you ever belittle your child by name calling and what ignorance he displayed by referencing that other races aren't smart. Childen are so vaunerable and thier development, self esteem, and self-worth is shaped by every action we make and every word we speak. If a child doesn't feel worthy of their parents then their soul is crushed. Please always encourage children no matter what!!!
Colby was running around with another little boy about his age. They were acting silly and exploring their surroundings (what 14 month old boys do, right). Well, the mother didn't like it so she pulled him off the ground by one arm and went to slapping his legs. This kind of stuff makes my stomach hurt. If you can't deal with toddler behavior then don't have children. AAP says never spank before two because they don't understand rationalization. Spanking under the age of two only causes aggression and confusion. A baby doesn't understand why the person who loves and provides for them also causes them pain. I'm not a big fan of ever spanking but I'm not saying that it's completely wrong when a child is older. It should always be done in private with a discussion before and after. If you just slap your child when you get angry then don't be surprised when they learn to deal with their problems in the same manner. When discipline is handled in an angry and violent disposition then the problem isn't within the child, it's within the parent. And if I hear one more person say, "spare the rod, spoil the child" I will go insane! If you look up the interpretation it will surprise you. The word "rod" is not a concrete object, it means in God's Righteousness. God tells us that children are a blessing and bring joy, but I think too often we get caught up in worldly behaviors and we miss out on the joy and love!
God summarized everything when he said the greatest commandment is LOVE!
I think that he looks down often and says, "where is the love?"
Go kiss your sweet children and tell them how much you love them and thank your parents too!!!
I finished my website for my new business. I'm still not sure about location and times of classes but it will be soon. Take a look at www.hear-my-hands.com
4 comments:
The website looks great! Good Luck!
amanda, i can not tell you how much i love and agree with your words in this post. you articulate my mutual feelings beautifully, with perfect examples of the things that make my stomach physically sick when i see them out in public.
you are so right about the rod. the actual purpose of the shepherd's rod in that time was to gently guide the sheep in the right direction. it was not for hitting, "training", or punishing the sheep. "your rod and your staff, they comfort me." i do not believe the Bible meant something as sick as that we should be comforted by violence inflicted upon us by those that love us, but that we should be comforted by our gentle shepherd (God and our parents)'s knowledge of what is best for us.
also, just to let you and anyone else know, if i could recommend two books on discipline, it would be:
(1)How to Really Love your Child by Ross Campbell,
with a close second being
(2)The Discipline Book by William and Martha Sears.
Both are written from a Christian perspective, but do not embrace violence as a way to control one's children through fear.
I get the same way when a parent mistreats their child. It makes me sick and want to tell them off or call the police (not like they would do anything). It's hard for me to see parents who don't love their children and show it.
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